Ode to a deadbeat roommate
Some of you knew this was coming. I just couldn't keep it inside. The world has to know...my roommate is a deadbeat. It's time I called her out in blogland. What has my thong in a bunch, you ask? Well, I have a roommate who used to be swell but who has been, of late, a deadbeat. She has been late with the rent, doesn't pay the rent, lies about the rent and everything under the sun.
I mean, I've been fair and would not be calling her out if she would just approach the situation like an adult but she has chosen not to act her thirty some-odd years. I come home every night murmuring "B*tch betta have my money", but alas, she never does. Lemme just share some wisdom to people out there that may not have all of their braincells...It's not ok to owe someone money and then turn around and tell them that you went away on vacation for two weeks. This is one of those times when it's perfectly ok to lie for the sake of the other person.
I feel like a pimp that is 'bout to have to dis'pline his ho.e fah actin up. So, as a sort of therapy, here is my "Ode to a Deadbeat Roommate" playlist.
**Disclaimer- I am not in a romantic relationship with said roommate. Some of the songs I chose do have romantic undertones but I believe the lyrics apply to all situations**
1 - Gwen Guthrie "Ain't Nothin' Going On But the Rent
Like I said, B*tch betta have my money
2 - B.B. King "Somebody Done Changed the Lock On My Door"
Excerpt..."Somebody done changed the lock on my door, Somebody done changed the lock on that door, They done changed the lock on that door, 'Cause the key I got won't fit that lock no more." Yup, she's about learn the words to this one...
3 - The O'Jays "For The Love of Money"
I can safely say, I am one of those people that's "Got to have it" and "Really need it".
4 - The Beatles "You Never Give Me Your Money"
Excerpt..."You never give me your money, You only give me your funny paper and in the middle of negotiations you break down"
Self-explanatory
5 - ODB - "Got Your Money"
What I wish she was singing..."Hey Coley, baby I got your money...don't you worry" This makes me wonder...did ODB ever get his money from Kelis? I think we need a remix...if Tupac can perform from the dead, so can Osiris.
Well, I am done with all of this and I feel a little bit better. I will feel a lot better when she has gotten the hell on.
All in good time...
I mean, I've been fair and would not be calling her out if she would just approach the situation like an adult but she has chosen not to act her thirty some-odd years. I come home every night murmuring "B*tch betta have my money", but alas, she never does. Lemme just share some wisdom to people out there that may not have all of their braincells...It's not ok to owe someone money and then turn around and tell them that you went away on vacation for two weeks. This is one of those times when it's perfectly ok to lie for the sake of the other person.
I feel like a pimp that is 'bout to have to dis'pline his ho.e fah actin up. So, as a sort of therapy, here is my "Ode to a Deadbeat Roommate" playlist.
**Disclaimer- I am not in a romantic relationship with said roommate. Some of the songs I chose do have romantic undertones but I believe the lyrics apply to all situations**
1 - Gwen Guthrie "Ain't Nothin' Going On But the Rent
Like I said, B*tch betta have my money
2 - B.B. King "Somebody Done Changed the Lock On My Door"
Excerpt..."Somebody done changed the lock on my door, Somebody done changed the lock on that door, They done changed the lock on that door, 'Cause the key I got won't fit that lock no more." Yup, she's about learn the words to this one...
3 - The O'Jays "For The Love of Money"
I can safely say, I am one of those people that's "Got to have it" and "Really need it".
4 - The Beatles "You Never Give Me Your Money"
Excerpt..."You never give me your money, You only give me your funny paper and in the middle of negotiations you break down"
Self-explanatory
5 - ODB - "Got Your Money"
What I wish she was singing..."Hey Coley, baby I got your money...don't you worry" This makes me wonder...did ODB ever get his money from Kelis? I think we need a remix...if Tupac can perform from the dead, so can Osiris.
Well, I am done with all of this and I feel a little bit better. I will feel a lot better when she has gotten the hell on.
All in good time...
posted by Nicole at 10:33 PM
6 Comments:
Man, I stopped by to get a kick out of another story of you boppin around the city...and you brought up some old feelings. When I was in college we took in a squatter. Yeah, I'll call him that. He said one time he didn't really care about money, but then had an issue kickin in for rent. I told him he could either pitch in or tomorrow was garbage day and I'd be putting his stuff on the curb. He never pitched in..but he got the "heck" out the next day.
Anyhow, Coley, here's another song for you...it's Bob Marley..."Don't worry, bout a ting, cause every little ting, gonna be all right now..."
So when is trash day in your neighborhood?
That's right! Let her know where the saying," Got kicked to the curb" really came from! I especially like that B.B. King one! ;-)
@ MNM - Trash day is tomorrow. Luckily I also have something of hers which she agreed to let me hold as collateral. If she is not careful she may find her $hit on eBay.
@ Ms. Blaize - If I didn't live in a walkup her stuff would already be on the curb.
Nicole, Becca sent me over to your blog and she was right, you are a scream. Kick that roomie to the curb and start over.
Mind if I link you on my blog?
Julie
LOL! that's funny. i'm mad you posted all those songs. that's hilarious! B&#$% betta have your money soon!
@ Julie - Welcome! I don't mind at all...thanks for stopping by!
@ Sivad - She finally coughed it up. And her behind will be out in about two weeks. Keep an eye out for my celebratory post!
@ billy - You know, I know she felt that way but I kept begging her to tell me if something was wrong and she chose not to. I had no other choice but to ask her to leave. It's shame, but hey, this is the roof over my head and I can't have someone messing with that.
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